Big problem with boyfriend?!?!?

So me and this guy been dating on nd off and since I dont go to skool we dont see eachother at all but just like through pic messages. Nd it's not like we live for from eachother we just plan things nd rely on a parents nd it never seem to workout but today I was going to visit him. So when I see him I said eh... But it sounds like eww nd den I give him my bookbag nd asked for a hug and I hugged the bookbag more den I hugged him and then I asked for a kissed and he sed not yet and I felt weird so I gave him a cd nd brownies nd went back into my car and he said bye but I didn't hear him and I left because I was scared to mess up and it felt so weird touching him and now he's coming to my house this week and were gonna be alone and I dont like people touching me but I told him he can touch me anywhere he wants and he can do anything with me. But the problem is that he wants to do sexual things nd I feel weird when he touches me and I really want him to be happy I wanted to change this time things be different in our relationship but I can't even let my boyfriend touch me and he's suppose to be my first kiss WTF do I do I want him but I feel weird please help??